A Candid Affair

The era in which we live or more to say the 21st century boasts of everything readily available in the consumer market, where every single product whether handmade or machine made, that is showcased on the shelves of opulent shopping malls attracts the prospective buyers. Be it the physical appeal of the product or the immaculately designed landscape of the shopping mall where it is sold, the average buyer gives little thought to it and spends little or no time using his rationale regarding the necessity of purchasing it. Such high end consumer durables after having served its purpose, or sometimes even before the expiry date as mentioned on the packaged cover, simply gives way leaving the consumer to either replace it with a similar variety or try something new. Looking around, as I see how the global demand continues to rise day by day, either because we as consumers derive a sense of pleasure, satisfaction, status, wealth and exclusivity, in the process forgetting that each of these products come with a stipulated life span either in days, months or years never to last forever.

This obsession to buy such materialistic goods is a sort of obsession that one develops over a period of time, simply because it fulfils one’s desire for luxury purchases accompanied with heightened feelings of accomplishment ignoring the real sense of fulfillment that it may not provide. Driven by such wants and not needs, the human mind is fashioned to think and behave in a particular way, to convince one-self about the satisfaction that he/she may derive temporarily out of it in the short run.

Well as I walk through the corridors of my mind, I am constantly reminded of the several occasions when I too have looked forward or more so craved for momentary pleasures. These instances have always circled around some materialistic good usually boxed and packaged in an attractive covering alluring my mind and self to be transported into a land of temporary happiness and satisfaction. Sooner or later as the charm of the newly possessed started diminishing, my eyes would then turn to something new, something better, a sort of replacement for the previous purchase made.

Thought after thought, I could trace a pattern in my behaviour that clearly expressed my fascination for luxury goods as a means to reward myself for an accomplishment, or to combat hours of monotony and boredom or at times to negate my low self-esteem and keep myself at par with my immediate neigbours and eventually I found myself getting close to what was termed as ‘compulsive shopping disorder.’ Not having realized its serious consequences, I felt getting drawn towards it with each passing day. Craving for materialistic things and finding solace from possessing the same was a psychological concept that was woven into the intricate chambers of my mind and memory both.

Trying to overcome the ‘Old Me’ and in a quest to rest myself upon something meaningful and maybe more gratifying that could transform my potential ideology of looking for ecstasy in the outer world, I need to confess  my struggle to get over this, and this surely cannot be undermined.  After giving it a thought for over a couple of months, I started getting to terms with the fact that we as individuals love to be loved and pampered in a way that is unconditional, a state of exalted goal, while experiencing bliss and joy in the process.  The challenging part of the entire process is to hold on to these passing moments in order to turn them into a permanent state. Despite everything that I had experienced or read or spoken in the past, I was convinced to convince myself that I ought to get into a relationship with myself! Young or Old we all are craving for happiness, but perhaps in the wrong places.

 It may sound very odd initially, but yes the fact is that one needs to be intimately close to oneself by loving, and accepting the way one is so that the urge to derive happiness from the interior can take precedence over the urge to derive happiness from the exterior. This very understanding of loving, accepting, forgiving and reminding myself daily that I do have something incredibly valuable and unique to share with this world, was something which kept me motivating throughout. In response to all this external attachments, we generally tend to overlook or even neglect our most important relationship—and that is; our relationship with us, or our self-relationship. It all boils down to the relationship we have with ourselves. We must have the relationship with ourselves that we wish to see in our relationships with others. Trading over materialistic comforts will only satiate our external self for a short term but cultivating a relationship with the inner self will radiate irrevocable beauty and life time satisfaction. Connecting with the self in order to successfully connect with the outer wide world is the key to internal peace and happiness.  There have been instances where we wish to know or have already known so much about others without even realising how little and how well do we actually know our own self. Thus, in order to know and understand ourselves better we should become aware of our needs and desires, by not letting the past ruin our today or the coming days. Let the past be our teacher and let the present be our preacher that can provide us with an effective road-map for self-care and self-relationship.

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When you start believing in yourself, others will start believing in you. The wait to be celebrated by an external cause or situation, seemed totally pointless. No single relationship in life can be celebrated nor can be cherished till we have learned to acknowledge the fact that each single day needs to be celebrated and this celebration should come from within ‘You’ and not from elsewhere. Therefore with this conscientious thought I wish to call my journey of self-love- ‘A Candid Affair’ that certainly comes across as an unconditional healthy relation with the self, without a labelled shelf life or an expiry date.

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